May 2013
i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
I think that's why I was so ugly
imadifferentbreedofbrittany:
chelsearomainepolite:
askaboutnikki:
I was bitter because I gave people all the good in me and they took it and left … me. left the bad in me and that over took me it swallowed me whole but I have no one to blame the ones who’ve hurt me took a piece of me they did but I let them
this is powerful.
perfectly explained.
is it just me or is talking to your hairdresser the most uncomfortable thing in the world
lameborghini:
life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house
mindless-g-thang:
himchanspenus:
Here’s a serious advice. Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t try to reach that point because the nicest people are also the scariest assholes when they’ve had enough.
ME.
10 Big "Star Trek" References In "Star Trek Into... →
To my fellow tumblr members ...
respectmethugtoninatalia:
jimdoesntcarrey:
salacl:
jimdoesntcarrey:
lucille-is-a-vampire-bat:
does any1 remember the replacements
i do
what happened to this show!!!???
it was… replaced
FUCK YAHOO
kushandwizdom:
..Leave Tumblr alone, go buy something else.
rnilkbreath:
jellyguy:
daddy abandoned us
letterstogodptiii:
tea-books-and-blankets:
yaygocats:
discomplete:
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
warpedesto:
do you ever just
make a friend and think
I am so glad this friend is mine
warpedesto:
do you ever just
make a friend and think
I am so glad this friend is mine
gallifreyanhugs:
2xknifekind:
2xknifekind:
in ten years we’re all going to sit down and talk about our tumblr phase
on tumblr
Tumblr isn’t simply a phase
clever-one-word-url:
GUYS MY 10 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAS JUST TELLING BE ABOUT HOW HE KNOWS EVERY GUY’S CRUSH IN HIS CLASS AND H KEEPS TRACK OF IT SO THAT IF A GUY GETS A NEW CRUSH HE GOES AND CALLS THE GIRL AND LETS HER KNOW. HE LITERALLY USED THE PHRASE “I’M IN THE BUSINESS”.
GUYS
MY BROTHER IS A 5TH GRADE PIMP
super-wolves:
google street view is the best, example:
quiescense:
thesobergrandhighblood:
johnnybooboo:
raynesnotamouse:
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT.
Don’t you dare.
ATTACK!!
please tell me this is a joke i’m gonna cry
quiescense:
thesobergrandhighblood:
johnnybooboo:
raynesnotamouse:
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT.
Don’t you dare.
ATTACK!!
please tell me this is a joke i’m gonna cry
GO ON ANON AND ASK ME THE MOST AWKWARD QUESTION...
earthnation:
people who have the same name as me are competition
